kyizi (kyizi) wrote,

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Fic: Not a Creature Was Stirring (a wee!John fic)

Not a Creature Was Stirring
By Kyizi

Stargate: Atlantis and all related items do not belong to me, only the stories and their related original ideas and characters are mine. No copyright infringement intended.
Rating: PG
Characters: Three-year-old John, Rodney and others
Spoilers: Nothing mentioned.

Notes: Okay, so I hadn’t intended to write anymore snippets, as I’m working on the main fic. But…it’s Christmas!!! So here’s a wee glimpse of wee!John’s first Christmas on Atlantis.

Previous Ficlets

| Five Ancient Devices Rodney McKay Wishes He’d Never Discovered (number three) | Just an Ordinary Day | Christmas with the Millers | Nap Time | Maybe (same post as Nap Time) | Show Me How Tight You Can Cuddle | Sniffles | Little Troublemaker | Paternal Instinct | Replacement | Prodigy |

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“What?” Rodney snaps, his fingers still tapping furiously across his keypad.

“Can Weindee fwy in ‘pace?”

“What?” He turns, frowning at the three year old who is frowning right back at him. “Reindeer?”

“If Santa flies awound Eff-”


“I said Eff!” John’s puts his hands on his hips and waits for Rodney to roll his eyes and motion for him to continue. “If he flies wound Eff on Kissmass Eve…will he have time to come foo ‘pace and give me pesents?”

Rodney’s eyes widen and he moves his mouth a little, but nothing comes out. He glances around, but none of his minions are in sight. “I…of course he will,” he manages finally.

“But how?”

“Because…” And oh, God this is actually going to make him choke. “Because…Santa’s…magic,” he grinds out.

“Magic?” John’s eyes say ‘yeah, right, sure thing, Rodney’ and he lets out a sigh of relief.

“Yeah, I never bought that either,” Rodney says, relieved. But now he’s stuck until a panel lights up on his left. “Santa’s sled was made by the ancients, so yes, he can fly through space.”

John’s eyes light up and he nods. “Okay.”

“Now, go find Teyla.”

“Can I have a wadio?”

“Little people don’t get radios.”

“Why not?”

“Because I said so.” And he was going to have to go kill himself before he turned into his mother.

“Will you help me find Teya?”

“Fine, but then I don’t want to see you for at least eight hours.”

“Fwee hous!”

“This is not a bargaining-”

“Okay, fou.”



“Fine, six.”


“You’re supposed to…fine, four.”


“You’re leaving tomorrow, right?”

Lorne blinks at him and nods. “It’s nice to know you’re so desperate to get rid of me, McKay, I didn’t know you cared.”


“Yeah, I leave tomorrow, McKay. I’m spending a few weeks with Cassie before I bring back the new recruits for Christmas cover, so some of our guys can get home.”

“Yes, good, I need you to buy things.”

“Okay…care to be a little more specific, Doc?”

“Presents! John’s already thinking about the specifics of Santa flying through space and as much as I would like to tell him that the fat old man doesn’t exist-”

“McKay, you didn’t!”

“Of course I didn’t!” Rodney barks out, insulted. “I may hate children, but this is… of course I didn’t.”

Lorne closes his eyes for a moment. “Of course, you didn’t. Sorry.”

“Look, you need to get…stuff, I don’t care what, you can have one of my credit cards. Just get him things he’ll like and maybe some new clothes, before I get used to seeing him in the dead animals Teyla and Halling think he should be wearing.”

Lorne snickers. “Sure thing, McKay. Cassie will make sure he’s the best dressed kid in the universe.”

“Yes, well, fine.” He shifts for a moment. “Get her something, too.”

Lorne smiles. “You getting soft in your old age, McKay?”

Rodney glares at him. “I meant something useful. She’s likely to be one of the next generation of Stargate scientists. I’m just…ensuring the future of the space exploration.”

“It’s okay, your secret’s safe with me.” Lorne’s grin widens when Rodney clenches his fists. “The Daedalus is due back Christmas Eve, so I guess you want me to wrap them, too?”

“That’s what store workers are paid for.”


“What? Look, just…I want him to have… I mean, he’s still a kid and he should remember…”

“Hey, he knows you look out for him. You’ll fix him, McKay.” Lorne resumes packing his case. “And in the meantime, we’ll make sure he has a great Christmas.”

“Okay.” Rodney makes it out of the door before saying a soft ‘thank you’. He doesn’t turn around to see Lorne’s indulgent smile.


“’s nealy Kissmass, Wodney.”

“Yes, I know. I could hardly not know because you’ve reminded me every day for the last week.”

“Will Evan be back soon?”


John rolls his eyes and looks a Teyla across the breakfast table. She smiles and looks at Rodney. “He is talking about Major Lorne. I believe Evan will return on Christmas Eve, John.”

“Just in time fo Santa!”

“That is correct.”

John leans over to try and grab something from Ronon’s plate and the man glares at him and pretends to try and grab John’s hand to eat. It’s become something of a morning ritual and Rodney’s at a complete loss to explain how repeating the same action every day can still cause the boy to let out peals of insane giggles every time.

“Can you babysit the terror today?” Rodney asks and Teyla shakes her head.

“Ronon and I will be accompanying Major Lorne’s team to Pakala in his absence. You cannot spend time with him yourself?” she asks and oh, he hates it when she words it like that, as if he’s purposefully ignoring the boy. Which Rodney doesn’t think is fair, because he only does that sometimes now.

“I’m working on the device.”

“Rodney,” Teyla says, lowering her voice so that John (who’s still playing ‘Ronon’s going to eat me’) can’t hear her. “I understand that you are working hard to fix this, but he will not be John Sheppard again by Christmas and I understand that this holiday is of great importance to children of your kind. You should spend time with him. Elizabeth says children enjoy making cards and gifts for their loved ones. I believe Doctor Pollock is excellent at crafts, perhaps she could help you with ideas?”

Rodney doesn’t really know why she bothers posing these things like a question, because what she really means is ‘ You will be doing as I say, so there’s no point arguing’.


“No! Stop that!”


“Because I don’t want red glitter-glue on my favourite t-shirt!”

John looks put out, but relinquishes the offending item. Really, Rodney’s beginning to question his decision to bring Doctor Pollock to Pegasus. The woman might be one of the best in her field, but, seriously, who in their right mind brings coloured card, glitter-glue, and felt to another galaxy? He’d drawn the line at taking the sequins and stringed beading (he didn’t want to ask if she had strung each tiny bead onto the thread herself, because he was afraid of the answer) for the cards as well. And really, what on earth possessed him to go along with Teyla’s idea (aside from the fact that she can actually maim him with her pinkie), because Rodney’s seen his room in various states of disaster, especially in the months since Sheppard turned into a psychotic tiny person, but he has no idea what’s worse; the bits of felt glued to every surface, or the lines of coloured glitter-glue now decorating the lower half of every wall in his room. He’d only been in the bathroom for two minutes.

“The’e! That’s Lizbet’s and that’s Wonon’s and dat’s Teya’s.”

“Good, good, very nice… what is it?”



John sighs. “Lizbet’s got a Kissmass tee, Wonon’s gots a Baka-”

“A what?”

“A Baka. Wonon says on ‘Teda they don’t have Kissmass, but they have a day when all the childen have to put thei’ hats on the window and the Baka comes to visit at night and fills it wif socks and nice things to eat. See, dey’s his gween head.”

“Yes, of course it is.”

“And Teya’s got an angel.”

“Good, good, are we done?”

“No! I still have to make Evan’s and Cawson’s and Jennife’s and Miko’s and Wadeks and Katie’s and-”

“You’ll never be finished by Christmas!”

“Yes, I will!”

“Not at this rate!”

“I will!”

“You will not!”

“I will, too!”

“You will …fine!”

“Okay, let’s stawt wif…Cawson! Wodney, what’s a Heeyand Coo?”


“Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse-”

“Lantis’ got mice?”

“No, John,” Elizabeth says with a smile. “Atlantis doesn’t have mice, but a lot of houses on Earth do.”

“Okay. Lantis isn’t a house, she’s a city.”

“That’s right. Would you like me to finish the story, or do you want to go to sleep now. Or do you want to sing more carols? I’m sure Katie will come back if we ask her to.”

“That’s okay, Lantis sings to me if I ask he’ to.”

“She does?”

John nods and smiles. “But it’s not Kissmass songs. I like the one wif the wittle town of Beth’em, it’s pwetty. And I like Cawson’s Kissmass Dundee cake!”

Elizabeth laughs and leans down to speak in his ear. “So did I.”

“I know, we saw you sneak anothe’ piece.”

“I did not!”

“Lia’, lia’, pants on fia!”

Elizabeth tickles him until he’s breathless and limp in her arms, still giggling softly. “Time for bed, little man,” she says and then gets that sad look in her eye that John doesn’t like. He sees it a lot when she looks at him, usually right before she makes Rodney mad and John gets sent away so they can argue. He wishes he could make her smile all the time.

She tucks him in, but he won’t settle down, instead shaking his head and crossing his arms. “Not until Wodney says goodnight!” he demands. “And he pwomised Evan would come back today and he’s not and I want to see Evan fo' Kissmass, too.”

“I know you do and I promise they’re trying very hard to get here. Ronon and Teyla and Rodney went to get him.”

“They’ll be back in time fo' Santa?”

“I hope so, John,” she says, frowning and it’s only because he can tell that she really wants them home for Christmas, too, that he relents.

“Okay. Night Litzabet!”

She laughs and leans down to give him a hug, kissing him on the forehead. “Good night, John. Sleep well and maybe you’ll have presents in the morning.”

“You, too!”

“Maybe, if I’ve been good.”

John smiles sleepily and yawns. “You’s always good, Lizbet. Even when it makes you sad. Night.”

And Elizabeth watches over him, sadly, stroking his hair and hoping that Rodney and the others will be back in time.


“Shh! It’s okay, go back to sleep.”

“Wodney?” John rubs his eyes blearily and blinks up as Rodney shifts him aside and crawls into the bed.

“Why are you sleeping in my bed, you monster?” he asks, half asleep himself.

“’s cosy.”

“Fine, but tomorrow you’re back in your box.”

“It’s not a box!”

“Just go to sleep.”

There’s a slight pause, but Rodney can tell he’s thinking and tries not to groan. He’s tired, his body aches and he wants some rest before John goes so hyperactive in the morning he gets sick. Saving Lorne’s ass wasn’t easy and he never really gets enough credit, he thinks, just a small thank you and that’s about it. Although, Lorne’s better than most, at least he says thank you.

“What?” he asks finally, unable to wait for John to come to the questions, likely just as he’s falling asleep.

“Wodney…has Santa been yet?”

“You’re not allowed to find out until morning. The tree is in the mess and I am not moving.”

“Okay,” John responds, sounding put out.

“Go to sleep.”

“Okay, good night, Wodney.”

“Good night.”

Rodnye’s just about to fall asleep when he feels a wet kiss on his cheek. “Happy Kissmass, Wodney. Wuv you.”

“Eh…you…you, too,” he says softly, awkwardly. “Now go to sleep.”

“Okay,” John whispers and then says, “Twas the night befo’e Kissmass and all thoo the house, not a cweatu’ was stiwwing, not even a mouse-”

And with a snuffle and a quick snuggle closer for warmth, they both fall asleep with Atlantis singing around them.


End of Not a Creature Was Stirring

When John asks what a ‘Heeyand Coo’ is, he’s asking what a Highland Cow is. My friend
  • and I call them Heeland Coos! And I know there are a lot of people who actually pronounce it that way (but with less amusement that we do!).

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  • Tags: fic, sga, wee!john
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