Disclaimer: Stargate: Atlantis and all related items do not belong to me, only the stories and their related original ideas and characters are mine. No copyright infringement intended.
Characters: Lorne, four-year-old John, Rodney and Radek
Spoilers: None, but it’s sort of set around season three, I guess.
Feedback: Is a gift. It’s nice to give :)
Notes: Written for loriel_eris, who was having a bad day.
Summary: He did not have time to deal with this. Atlantis was -- he checked his watch -- two minutes and 32 seconds away from being disintegrated and he was running around in the bowels of the city chasing his five year old ex-colonel around.
If the kid was naked he was handing in his resignation.
This is part of the wee!John ‘verse.
| Five Ancient Devices Rodney McKay Wishes He’d Never Discovered (number three) | Just an Ordinary Day | Christmas with the Millers | Nap Time | Maybe (same post as Nap Time) | Show Me How Tight You Can Cuddle | Sniffles |
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There was a giggle coming from his chest. It took him a moment to realise why this was unusual, but he was half asleep. It wasn't a particularly stealthy giggle and the weight pressing into his rib cage, along with the fist jammed painfully into his stomach, didn't lend to that impression either, but Lorne had the feeling it was meant to be nonetheless. He waited silently for a moment, slowly allowing himself to wake up fully, not wanting to alert his intruder to the fact that he was awake.
He hadn't been drinking, hadn't been off world to have inadvertently consumed anything hallucinogenic, he distinctly remembered going to sleep the night before and he recalled that he had been alone in his room. The fact that his internal clock told him it couldn't be any later than 5am also told him that his intruder should definitely be asleep in another part of the city.
There was another giggle, followed by a wriggling as the weight shifted up his body. A few moments later he could feel the steady flow of breath on his chin, tickling his lips and the bottom of his nose. He took a moment to let things settle and then reared up, groaning loudly, his eyes crossed and crazy-looking. The boy squealed at a pitch that would likely get Lorne into trouble for waking up half of the city, but the insane laughter and giggles that followed as he tickled the boy into the mattress made it worth it.
"'Top! 'Top! Evan, 'top it!” John squealed. "Peeeeeeeeeeeease!"
He stopped tickling and looked warily at the boy, giving him a moment to recover. John continued to giggle breathlessly, his eyes bright and wet with laughter.
"Now," Lorne said, leaning closer and setting the boy off again. "I may be wrong, but something tells me that little boys are meant to be in bed just now."
"Nope!" John cackled, wriggling further down the bed and away from the man leaning over him.
Smirking briefly, he grabbed John's feet and pulled, sliding the boy back towards him until Lorne was leaning over him face to face again. "You should be sleeping."
John laughed. "No! 'Lantis said time to wake up! Gots to wake you up!"
Lorne frowned. "Why does Altlantis want me..." he trailed off, listening to the gentle murmur so constantly at the back of his mind when he was in the city. There was something changing, something a little different to it. He frowned, glanced at John who was looking up at him with innocent eyes and then it clicked.
"Oh, sh-" he stopped himself on hearing the thrilled giggle, but didn't have time to revel in it as he leapt out of bed, threw on his uniform and tossed the all-too-pleased child over his shoulder, happy to be providing some kind of amusement to someone. Because he had the feeling things were about to go to hell.
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"What do you mean there's no more power!"
"I do not know how else you want me to say it, Rodney! We have no more power! The shields will fail in four minutes, thirty nine seconds."
"We need more time than that!"
"We do not have more time!"
Lorne took a deep breath, taking a moment to roll his shoulders as he continued to lead his men down to the Jumper Bay. With power at it's lowest, all transporters were off limits, but damn it he needed to be in the air already. He listened to Zalenka and McKay bickering over the radio, glad that he had access to personal channels right now, because he needed to know how bad things were since he was currently in charge of the city.
Things were pretty damn bad.
He continued jogging down the stairs, leading the way to the Jumper Bay, hoping that they would make it in time. The ship had come out of nowhere, it was of unknown origin and its guns packed a hell of a punch. Or maybe 'laser' would be a better choice, since that's exactly what it looked like; a three meter wide laser beam that was sucking the energy out of Atlantis through it's shields. And it looked like they were helpless to stop it.
"Conners, Williams, Cooper, take left flank. Parker, James, I want you right behind m-" He stopped short and spun in a circle, his eyes widening in horror as the child's giggles echoed around them. He saw his horror echoed in Parker's eyes but indicated that she should get in her Jumper. "Cooper, take the lead. I need you to try and draw their fire away from Atlantis. Do what you can." He knew that Cooper was more than capable of handling this, possibly more so than he was, given the man's flight experience, but, even after a year of being in charge, handing over the reigns was still a foreign concept to him, as was giving orders. Cooper nodded and Lorne watched for a moment as they all entered their jumpers, but another noise made him remember why he wasn't heading out with them.
He was going to strangle the little squirt.
He jogged back to the corridor, frowning when he was met only with the sounds of the Jumpers behind him leaving. "John!" he called and swore under his breath when there was an answer of glee. Usually hearing the kid calling his name with such joy left him grinning for days, at that moment it filled him with fear and anger in equal amounts.
He took off down the corridor, knowing that the longer he left it the more likely the kid was to find trouble. Somehow, John Sheppard was always able to find trouble, regardless of his age.
"John, this isn't funny, kid, come on." When all his comment garnered were more giggles, he fought the urge to ram his fist into the nearest wall. He did not have time to deal with this. Atlantis was -- he checked his watch -- two minutes and 32 seconds away from being disintegrated and he was running around in the bowels of the city chasing his five year old ex-colonel around.
If the kid was naked he was handing in his resignation.
Assuming they lived through this.
Reaching a dead end, he threw his hands up in frustration. "John Sheppard, where the hell are you?" There was a squeak of fright to his left and he frowned, looking at what appeared to be a wall. "John?" He stepped closer and reached out a hand, jerking in surprise when it didn't hit anything, he kept walking forward. A look to his right showed a corridor and, at a glance down, a small, wild-eyed, messy-haired, five year old.
"Very Labyrinth," he muttered and then crouched down to eye level. He took a deep breath, he calmed himself; the kid looked terrified. "John, what are you doing down here?"
"'Lantis wants to show you."
Lorne frowned. "To show me what?" he asked, but didn't question how John knew. He understood, better than McKay and the others could, that Altantis spoke to those with the natural gene in different ways.
Realising he wasn't about to get into trouble, John grinned, yelled "This way!" and shot off before Lorne could so much as curse.
"Seriously?" he said under his breath, taking off after the kid. They had about a minute to live and Lorne hadn't planned to spend it like this. He'd at least hoped to go out in a blaze of glory. Well, the boy was clothed. He told himself that was something.
"John, where the he- woah." He stopped, stared wild-eyed at the large chamber and turned in a circle. The room was huge, shining brightly in that way that only Atlantis ever could, and in the centre was a chair. A chair that the five-year-old was currently hauling himself into. Lorne shot forward at a speed that would have surprised even him had he even thought about it, and picked the child up, turning him around so that they were face to face.
"How did you make it past puberty the first time? Never mind to Colonel!" John just looked at him. Lorne sighed. "You have got to stop throwing yourself at things that could kill you. Okay?"
"Okay. Now you have to save 'Lantis," the boy said, pointing to the chair.
"John, there's no power." He glanced at his watch. About twenty seconds. Great. He wanted to hug the kid tightly, just for that last moment of comfort before it all ended, but he didn't want to scare John. What was the point?
"E-van!" John said as if he was very put out by Lorne's stupidity.
Frowning, Evan looked over to where he was pointing and almost dropped the kid.
"I'll be damned."
* * *
"Oh my God!"
Evan smirked, tucked his thumbs into his belt hooks and rocked back on his feet. A glance at the boy by his side showed him that it was a stance that was being copied. He grinned, reached out to ruffle John's already-unruly hair and looked at McKay again.
"Nice, isn't it, Doc?"
"Ni-nice?" Rodney spluttered. "Nice? It's...it's..."
"Wonderful," Radek finished. The Czech picked up the ZPM that Rodney wasn't holding and turned around again. The room was full to the brim of all Atlantis' best (which pretty much meant the whole city) and John was taking centre stage by the chair, which meant so was Lorne. Ever since he'd shot the vessel out of the sky with whatever weapons system the chair had, John had been stuck to him like glue. The word 'Cooooool' had echoed around the empty chamber for a solid minute after it had all ended and John's wide eyes had gazed at him with something akin to hero-worship. Lorne figured it was time for a bit of a role reversal, even if the Colonel did have to turn into a five-year-old for it to happen.
"But how does it all work?" Rodney asked, wonderingly, still clutching at the powered ZPM cradled in his arms like a baby.
"Like dis," John said and scrunched up his face in a way that had Lorne thinking of all those Bewitched episodes his big sister had forced on him as a child. The fact that the act made consoles and screens suddenly appear out of nowhere did nothing to dispel the likeness.
Rodney and Radek started making strange whimpering noises that the Atlantis military had soon come to associate with 'this is likely to save my butt sometime, so do not mock'. They scientists were abuzz and the others soon left them to it. Only he and John remained, watching as Rodney gleefully discovered new systems and more pieces to the puzzle that was Atlantis and he had no doubt that McKay's large brain would retain it all and use it at some point in the too-near future to save them all again.
He pulled himself into the now dormant chair, grinning when John held his arms up. He picked the kid up, pulled him onto his lap and the two of them curled up to watch the scientists do their thing. The last thought that Lorne had before sleep snuck over him was that maybe, sometime in the future, it wouldn't be so bad to have a kid of his own.
After all, what was the worst that could happen?
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Hope this cheered you up, Lori! *smooch*
CONTINUED IN 'Paternal Instinct'