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12 June 2008 @ 02:30 pm
Fic: SGA (Wee!John 'verse)  
By Kyizi

Stargate: Atlantis and all related items do not belong to me, only the stories and their related original ideas and characters are mine. No copyright infringement intended.
Rating: PG
Characters: Rodney, five-year-old John, Ronon and Lorne
Spoilers: None, but it’s sort of set around season three, I guess.
Feedback: Is a gift. It’s nice to give :)
Notes: Okay, so I don’t know where, exactly, this came from, but you can blame loriel_eris! Written at work (meep!)… Procrastination is the name of the game, people! :p

Summary: "Wodey, if I sdeeze weally loud will by eyes pop out?"

This is part of the wee!John ‘verse, which started with Five Ancient Devices Rodney McKay Wishes He’d Never Discovered (number three) and continues in Just an Ordinary Day, Christmas with the Millers, Nap Time, and Maybe (both snippets in same post) and Show Me How Tight You Can Cuddle.


Rodney glares a little. "Are you purposefully saying that every time you sneeze, just to annoy me?"

"Do." John sniffs, looks up at Rodney with pitiful, tear-filled eyes and sneezes again. "Choo!" His head jerks so much he falls back to a seated position. He sniffles and cranes his neck to look up at Rodney. "Cad I have cake, Wod-ey?"

"Wodey? No! No, no and no. You are not calling me that!"

John giggle-coughs, exclaims, "Wodey!" and sneezes violently.

"No," Rodney reiterates and then frowns. "Did you dislodge something that time?"

"My head huwts." John sniffs again and frowns. "Wodey, if I sdeeze weally loud will by eyes pop out?"

"What? No, don't be stupid."

"Dot stupid!" John glares. "Wadek said dat sdeezes aw fast as todaoes o' huwicanes. Bet dey could bake you eyes pop out," he finishes with a lazy drawl that just sounds wrong in his five year old voice and is spoiled by the violent sneeze that follows.

When his face contorts with the next sneeze, Rodney crouches to his level in a slight panic. "Oh my God, what was that?"

"Wad to see if by eyes pop out if I keep dem open."

"Will you stop being stupid! You do not want your eyes to pop out. You will need them to fly planes later!"

"So it does bake you eyes pop out." Rodney glares and John smiles. "Cad I have-?"

"No, you can't have cake."


"Here, you have him. I can't take any more."

Ronon frowns, glances at the snotty, little boy being held out to him at arms length and looks at Mackay sceptically.

"What? He's sneezing everywhere, do you understand that my immune system is non-existent? I've probably already contracted some alien disease with all the germs mixing and mutating, while he sneezes on my work space."

When Ronon just continues to look at him with a raised eyebrow and a slight smirk, Rodney actually looks like he might cry.

"P..." Rodney takes a deep breath and then grits his teeth and hisses, "Please."

Ronon rolls his eyes and plucks the sneezing child out of Rodney's outstretched hands and tucks him under one arm. The man scuttles away and Ronon looks down at the boy with a smile. John grins back cheekily at him, opens his mouth to say something and sneezes all over him.


"What do you mean he's under quarantine?" Rodney asks, aghast, trying to make sure the crying child in his arms isn't wiping his nose on Rodney's shoulder.

Lorne sighs and tries again. "John sneezed all over him, got him sick. His immune system isn't built to withstand our germs, he could be there for a while. You've to keep John away from anyone who isn't from Earth."

"I've to...I have work to do!"

"Wodey," John says pathetically and it kind of tugs at Rodney's heart a little.


"Cad I have cake?"

"I... Someone up there hates me."

"Adciedts aw just gwupy," John says, patting his shoulder.

Lorne frowns. "Ancients are just what?"

"Grumpy," Rodney translates, looking at John and sighing. "I don't know what to do with you sometimes."

John nods, his face still solemn. "Ged be cake. Wodod says cake fixes evwyfing."

"Ronon would say that."


"I want you to know," Rodney says, brushing past a snickering Lorne, "that if you weren't so pathetic and I didn't want some myself, you would not be getting anything."

"Okay, Wodey."

"I hate you."

"I wuv you, too."



AN: I promise, I am working on the main fic! Slowly, but surely.

Also, I’m looking for a wee!John to icon for my posts. Any ideas who might fit the bill?!

CONTINUED IN 'Little Troublemaker'...

Tags: , ,
Current Mood: boredbored
Loriel Eris: squee // dr wholoriel_eris on June 12th, 2008 02:58 pm (UTC)
You purposefully didn't tell me you'd posted, just to see how long it'd take me to notice, right?

Also? That line works better. *g*
kyizikyizi on June 12th, 2008 03:38 pm (UTC)
Hee, pretty much ;p

Good to know. I thought about it for a bit. Actually, it successfully wasted a few minutes this afternoon before boredom and feeling crappy took over again.
Loriel Eris: crazyness // sg1loriel_eris on June 12th, 2008 04:59 pm (UTC)
God, I don't how it took me this long. I mean, it's not as if I was working or anything...

I'm all in favour of providing distraction. ;)
kyizi: yuckkyizi on June 12th, 2008 07:20 pm (UTC)
I seriously did sweet fa today...
Loriel Eris: shit // houseloriel_eris on June 12th, 2008 09:50 pm (UTC)
Welcome to my past two years...
d_odysseyd_odyssey on June 13th, 2008 01:19 am (UTC)
Awww, so cute. Love wee!John and just so adorable with the sniffles. Poor Ronon quarantined and Rodney seeing germs everywhere, but still takes John for cake. "I wuv you, too." Yay!
kyizi: SGA: poutkyizi on June 13th, 2008 08:04 pm (UTC)
*glee* Glad you liked!
artemis_primeartemis_prime on June 13th, 2008 01:47 am (UTC)
Oh, you've no idea how smiley I was when I saw that you had posted a new wee!John fic!!!! Very happy. But sad to see a sick little John. As for the main fic, is it a wee!John fic as well (please say yes...I've been waiting very patiently since Christmas for more of this 'verse)? Good job.
kyizi: Firefly: Jaynekyizi on June 13th, 2008 08:05 pm (UTC)
LoL! Yes, the main fic is how John became wee!John and how/if he'll become Sheppard again :) I'm so very glad you liked and thanks for the feedback!
syble4: joe Californian surfingsyble4 on June 13th, 2008 05:18 am (UTC)
I just found these adorable stories of yours. weejohn is so darn adorable, I just want to squeeze him. I do hope you finish the whole story, as I really want to see John returned to Sheppard, but maybe not until another few of these stories have been written. :)

Oh, and I can't figure it out. What IS the purple abomination that the eventual adult John will be tortured with?
kyizi: SGA: adorkablekyizi on June 13th, 2008 08:07 pm (UTC)
Aw, thank you! I'm so glad you like! The whole story will be long, but I'm hoping to get cracking on it properly after I move house.

As for the purple abomination... have you ever been tortured by The Teletubbies? *shudder*
TDF: SGA John toddlerthdancingferret on June 13th, 2008 06:16 am (UTC)
Oh my god, a new wee!john story!! I absolutely adore this 'verse - though I do feel sad for poor Rodney, struggling to take care of a little boy and missing his adult friend - and am so very happy to see a new installment posted. And I'm eagerly awaiting getting to finally read the main fic, whenever it's finished ;)
kyizi: SGA: Shepkyizi on June 13th, 2008 08:09 pm (UTC)
Aw, that icon is so cute!! And so appropriate!

I'm so glad you're enjoying this 'verse, as it's one of my favourites to write in, so it's good to know that other people like it! Thank you for the feedback, but just to let you know, I won't be able to work on the main fic properly until after I'm all moved and settled in my new flat next month!
TDF: SGA John toddler ?thdancingferret on June 13th, 2008 10:54 pm (UTC)
Isn't it just? *g* tardis80 drew a series of cute little doodles featuring a John transformed into a toddler, with a Rodney at his wits' end, for me when I was having a bad day. They're adorable ;)

I adore everything about this 'verse - from wee!John's speech impediments, to Rodney teaching him algebra, to the purple abomination that's probably giving Rodney nightmares (oh wee!John, you *would* pick Tinky Winky... *g*) - so I definitely can't wait to read more. I'm just going to pretend I didn't read that bit about 'until next month', or I'll just end up fidgeting in my seat as badly as a wee!John that needs to go potty... ;)
kyizi: SGA: moving onkyizi on June 16th, 2008 08:08 am (UTC)
*glee* I love that! I need to befriend an artist who can doodle me a wee!John when I've been having a bad day! ;p

That really does fill me with glee to read! :) I'll make an extra special effort to get working on it when I've moved!
TDF: SGA Rodney toddler!Johnthdancingferret on June 17th, 2008 01:14 am (UTC)
Well I was having a bad disease day, so she cheered me up with the adorable comic strip, so I've definitely no complaints ;)

Read the newest one and already looking for more! *G*
kyizi: SPN: giggleskyizi on June 30th, 2008 12:56 pm (UTC)
Hee, those icons just make me giggle! *g*

Hopefully some more sometime soon!
Michelle: more than a scientest-mckayccmom on June 17th, 2008 04:26 am (UTC)
I really do love the work you do on these. Good job!
kyizi: DW: Rosekyizi on June 30th, 2008 12:56 pm (UTC)
Oh, thank you! *smooch*